It's eviction night in the "Big Brother 6" house, and the houseguests are blissfully unaware of the destruction and tragedy that Mother Nature unleashed on the American South this week.

Instead, their focus is on the mundane task at hand: one of the remaining seven houseguests is getting the boot and it's up to them to decide between the cross-dressing, yet oft-nude Howie and the fast-talking, rapidly-blinking James. Whose tenure in the house is drawing to a close?

We see footage of the gang after they heard of April's decision to remove original eviction nominee Janelle from the block and replace her with James. BFFs Ivette and James embrace, slobbering all over one another as Mother Maggie hovers awkwardly over them shooting daggers, like a parent overseeing a good night kiss. The only things missing are some curlers and a housedress. Her top priority is to get James out, and she's not pleased with Ivette's lovey-dovey attitude toward him.

James on the other hand, obviously wants to stay and unfolds a three-pronged attack designed to enable him to do so. First, he enlists Ivette to help him in his venture. She agrees to do his dirty work and approaches Maggie with a proposal: evict Howie, fully integrate James into the Super Friends group, and go after Janelle next week. Next, James begins a negative campaign against Howie, under the guise of good-natured joshing. Finally, he decides to work on Janelle, Howie's de facto partner. Janelle knows she could "go farther" with James, but "feels bad for Howie."

Uber-hostess Julie Chen appears on the scene to check in with those left in the house. She's got a list of scintillating, hard-hitting questions for them, and dives right in. How did Janelle like getting a phone call from Michael this past week? It was great! Fans have noticed that Mother Maggie has lost some of her heft. What's her secret? "Lots of laughter," says Maggie, struggling to sound sincere. What's on Ivette's wish list should she win a Head of Household competition? A picture of her beloved girlfriend. Awwww. Who would be the worst real-life permanent roommate, Beau? Ummm... Janelle! The girl's a mess, apparently. Yawn.

Julie switches gears and introduces a segment about current HOH, April. According to her former sorority sisters, "She made our college experience what it was." Apparently, those four years were filled with a lot of behind-the-back trash talkin' and breast implants. Let's check in with April's husband, the alleged "Fat Matt." "I'm not fat, okay?" he says, valiantly struggling to suck it in as he challenges Howie to a fight. He's not pleased with Howie's comments on the show and neither is Pepperoni, April's dog, who whines his discontent. Too bad this portion didn't come with some subtitles.

Julie chats one-on-one with April, who claims it was her strategy all along to "fly under the radar" and who assures Julie that all is going according to plan. She's partnered up with Maggie, but shhhh -- don't tell anybody. Using a backhanded compliment popular on "BB6," she claims to "love Ivette to death," saying that the spicy Latina has a "huge, huge heart" to match her huge, huge mouth.

Wondering what Jennifer's been doing since getting ushered out of the "BB6" abode? Well, she's holed up in the Jury House, a bungalow perched on the edge of a swamp. She's hoping the next person to join her will be "anyone but Rachel." Too bad, because here comes the Horse Whisperer now. Let the awkward conversation begin. The two roll their eyes at one another's comments as they watch a tape from the "BB6" house. Jennifer notes that "BB6" "is like a real TV show." Something like that, Jen.

It's eviction time. Howie and James sit side by side as the houseguests file into the diary room to place their votes. Howie looks like he wants to hold hands. James isn't having it. After 27 hours, the votes are in and James is out. He leaves the house for a perfunctory interview with La Chen and Ivette goes into the "BB6" can to apply hair product and pray for her fallen comrade.

"Playing It Straight" is the name of yet another HOH competition. In this one, houseguests must roll two bowling balls down a plank. Basically, the farthest rolls get the most points. Beau, sporting a faux-Timberlake fedora, takes an early lead. His partner Ivette manages to deconstruct the shoddy workmanship of the playing field with her attempts. In a surprise move, Howie comes from behind and wins the competition by one point. In his joy, he even bestows a kiss upon Busto, his mortal enemy.

The Super Friends are sweating it out now. Little do they know that it's also a Double Eviction week and that Howie must immediately choose two people for nomination. They soon find out when Howie makes his choice: Ivette and Beau, the last remaining pair in the house.

Next time: Vetoes, evictions and a Super Secret Special Guest!

-- Liz Scott lives in Philadelphia. Her hobbies include listening to Prince, watching "Cops" and reading about celebrities.